First loves are Hard, aren't They?
by ActorPotter
Summary: Cedric loves Harry, and Harry...didn't even know he was gay! A story of first love, hurt, and dirty little secrets.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all!! A new story off to a happy start, I believe!! This is the prequel to my Draco/Harry story. Harry is much younger in this story, so there isn't much cursing, and his whole general mien is different and more innocent. I'm not sure if that will change as the story continues, so rating is subject to change. PLEASE REVIEW!!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just write about them how I sometimes wish was reality..

Everyone leaves me and I sink into my hospital bed sighing. Ugh. I fell off my broom. Mortification beyond belief.

I hear the hospital wing door open. Oh my god, I moan. Who could it be now? My jaw drops to see Cedric Diggory coming towards me.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I ask dumbfounded.

"I wanted to see how you were doing." He sits down in one of the visitor's chairs next to the hospital bed.

Cedric Diggory? Wanting to see how I was? "Why?" I ask him.

"Well, you fell off your broom see…"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "I _know_ I fell off my broom. I'm not that thick. But why are _you_ here?"

"To apologize."  
"Apologize?"  
"Yeah. I swear, I tried to call it off; I hadn't notice you'd fallen. It wasn't a fair win."

"It's fine. Everyone's already explained it to me a dozen times. But it _was _fair. _You_ caught the snitch before me," I sound as if I'm explaining quidditch to a four year old.

"But it's your first loss, I remember mine. I was quite disgruntled."

I sigh again. "I'm a big boy. I'll live."

Cedric studies me. "You're a fantastic flyer," he finally says. "I've noticed you. You don't even seem to be on a broomstick. It's as if it's as natural to you as walking."  
"Er…thanks," I say blushing at the compliment.

"You're pretty banged up," Cedric says taking in the state of my face.

"I'm fine," I say.

"Still gorgeous though," Cedric says casually.

Confused at his words I ask, "What?"

"I said you're still as gorgeous as ever."  
I scrunch my eyebrows together trying to understand him.

"I told you I noticed you," Cedric says.

"Er, yeah, well, I didn't know you meant… like _that_," I say knowing that secretly I _had_ wanted it to be…like that.

"How could I not?" Cedric asks. He touches my and lightly. My heart involuntarily jumps and I feel a shock shoot up my arm.

Of course, I've noticed him too. One of the most popular guys at Hogwarts. Gorgeous. Talented. Gorgeous.

I don't pull my hand away from Cedric but I don't say anything either.

"Harry?" Cedric whispers.

"Y-yeah?" I answer shakily.

"I think you are the most amazing person I have ever met," he proclaims looking straight into my eyes and I know this is no joke, "And I was wondering," Cedric continues, "if it would be alright if I could have the honor of kissing you?"

I stare at Cedric, stunned. I don't speak and he searches my face for a response. My heart flutters ever faster as I find myself whispering, "Yes."

Cedric leans downward and his lips graze mine before my mind can realize what I've just said. My heart seems as if it will burst out of my chest at how fast it is beating. I part my lips surprising myself and kiss him back. The kiss is over too soon. Cedric smiles at me and I smile tentatively back.

"Thanks," he says, "See you later," He squeezes my hand affectionately and without another word he disappears.

I am left stunned with the feeling of his lips etched into my nerves forever.

*

Sitting in the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione I pick at my eggs unnoticing glancing up at the Hufflepuff table. Cedric is talking to about a dozen of his friends. They probably were not _all_ his friends, just those who wish they were.

Cedric glances up and I drop my gaze praying to God he didn't see me looking. How _very_ uncool.

"You okay, Harry?" Hermione asks concernedly.

"Of course he's not, Hermione!" Ron says exasperatedly, "How many times do I have to explain in to you? He's lost his first match _and _his Nimbus 2000. You know what he has to ride now? A…" But Ron is interrupted by an enchanted paper airplane crashing into the eggs in the middle of the table.

"What's that?" Hermione asks dropping the Daily Prophet.

The outside of the paper airplane says "Harry Potter". Notes written in paper airplanes are the new fad. Looking up in the Great Hall at any given time would show you over 100 airplanes flying about the ceiling.

I pick my paper airplane up slowly and unfold the wings.

Take a picture, Beautiful, it'll last longer.

I blush at the words. Beautiful? What a choice of words.

I fold the paper and resisting the urge to look at the Hufflepuff table.

"Who's it from?" Ron asks.

"N-nobody," I say blushing.

"Ooh! Is it a girl?" Hermione coos.

"No!" I say in a defensive tone.

"Uh-huh," Ron says helping himself to third helpings. Hermione goes back to her newspaper. I risk another look at Cedric.

He catches my eye and smiles. I feel my breath escape my lungs at the valiant smile. I can't find the muscles to curl my lips to smile in return.

Finally, it hits me. OH my god, I think and drop my gaze to my plate, my face hotter still. I Like him, I realize. I REALLY like him. But then that means…

I choke on the pumpkin juice I have just swallowed. That means…I'm gay.

I jump at the thought as though I'll be struck down my lightning any second at this realization. I look at Ron and Hermione who are completely oblivious to my epiphany.

Ron…Hermione. What would they say if they knew? I can't tell them. It'd be impossible. No. Would it? Yes, it would. God, I don't know! I can't handle this. I stand up abruptly.

"What is it, mate?" Ron asks me.

"Er, St-stomach ache," I mumble. I rush out of the Great Hall seriously thinking I am about to throw up.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everybody!! Ookay, okay, i know this chapter is way overdue!! don't worry i have more chapters thought out!! I just haven't been able to use my computer for such a long time. But my HPDM story will have another update soon, i just have to type it! Please read and review, the next chapters will be more interesting, I just knew I needed a reassurance chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I just sometimes borrow the characters for my own amusement and make them do things I think they should have done in the books.

Chapter 2

_I'm confused. We need to talk. – Harry_

No! I erase my name down to the H. Okay, if he doesn't know who "H" is then…I don't know, but I can't write my whole _name._

It's dinner in the Great Hall and I turn the note into a paper airplane with my wand. It zooms into the air to join the others.

"Who's that for?" Hermione asks with her eyebrows raised.

"N-nobody," I stammer and my cheeks flush.

"When are you going to tell us who the girl is, mate?" Ron asks as he stuffs more food into his mouth.

"There is no girl," I say.

"Right," Hermione says, and then an airplane lands in front of me. I quickly open it.

_Okay. Meet me in the boys' lavatory outside the Great Hall. When you look at me I'll leave. Count to ten and then follow me._

Instinctively I look up towards the Hufflepuff table. Cedric catches my eye and then he stands up to leave the Great Hall.

"Who are you looking at?" Ron asks looking to where I am.

"Nobody," I say hurriedly. I count to ten in my head.

"I'm heading up to bed," I say standing up.

"Er, alright, mate, see you later," Ron says.

"Bye, Harry," Hermione says.

I hurry through the Great Hall and into the bathroom. Cedric is there already and my heart leaps when I see him. Tall and gorgeous.

"Hold on," Cedric says. He locks the door with his wand.

"Hi," he says smiling.

"H-hi," I say nervously. Cedric moves closer to me and kisses my lips softly without hesitation. The kiss feels so nice and I am disappointed when he withdraws a fraction of an inch.

"How are you?" he whispers.

"Er, okay, it's just, er…"

"What?" Cedric asks.

"Well, I guess I'm confused."

"Yeah, I got that from your note," Cedric says, "Are you confused about this?" And he kissed me again, more passionately than before. The kiss makes me dizzy and I draw back this time and say, "Yes."

"Why?" Cedric asks.

"Well, I'm confused at how that makes me feel. I mean, I'm not gay. I don't look or act gay. No. No I can't be gay." But then why have I always fancied guys and never girls? Why when I have dreams at night are they of naked men and not women?

"How does someone look gay?" Cedric asks.

"Well, you know, all feminine and stuff."

"Do I look feminine to you?"

"Well, no."

Cedric smiles, "Harry, some guys are just attracted to men. It's not about what you look like or how you act."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I really like you, Harry," Cedric says.

"You-you do?" I stammer.

Cedric just smiles broader and kisses me again with so much force I back up into the wall.

"Do you like me, Harry?"

"Y-yes," I say.

"Then that is all that matters. Ignore the labels and the stereotypes Harry." And then he kisses me for the third time that day and it feels so good to have someone this close to me. I kiss him back with renewed feeling and forget all my worries about being gay. It is just Cedric and me and that's all that matters.


End file.
